5 “Bad” Things a Good Dietitian Might Say That Actually Help You Heal Better
When you are struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder, working with a dietitian can feel intimidating. Many people expect nutrition support to focus on eating “clean,” controlling portions, or achieving weight loss.
So when a good dietitian says something that sounds uncomfortable or even “wrong,” it can catch you off guard.
These statements are not meant to shock, shame, or take control away from you. They are rooted in evidence-based care and are often essential for healing both the body and the mind.
Below are five things a non-diet, intuitive-eating-informed dietitian may say that can sound difficult at first but often support deeper, more sustainable healing.
1. “You’re not eating enough.”
Many people assume that eating three meals a day automatically means they are adequately nourished. In reality, large gaps between meals, inconsistent eating patterns, or portions that do not meet energy needs can still leave the body under-fueled.
You may also be missing eating opportunities without realizing it, such as skipping snacks, delaying meals, or relying on low-energy foods that do not sustain you for long.
What actually supports healing is consistent nourishment. That often means:
Eating regularly, ideally every three to four hours
Including carbohydrates, fats, and protein to support satisfaction and stability
Eating even when hunger cues feel quiet, confusing, or unreliable
Under-eating keeps the body in a state of stress. Consistency allows it to resume regulating.
A dietitian says this not to criticize your choices, but to name what your body is experiencing. Adequate nourishment is not a reward. It is a biological requirement for your brain, organs, and nervous system to function well.
2. “Weight loss is not the goal.”
This statement can feel discouraging, especially if you have been told that weight loss is the solution to your health concerns.
But think about this, if weight loss truly healed people, dieting would work long-term. Most of the time, it does not.
Research consistently shows that the vast majority of people who diet and lose weight regain all the weight back and more within a year after stopping. This also often creates increased fear around eating and cycles of restriction and loss of control.
Removing weight loss as the goal allows the focus to shift toward nourishment, consistency, and reducing anxiety around food.
Healing is not about controlling your body into submission. It is about supporting it enough that it no longer has to fight back.
3. “Stop trying to eat ‘healthy’ for now.”
For someone with disordered eating, the pursuit of eating “healthy” can easily turn into rigid rules, moral judgments, and constant self-monitoring.
Foods become labeled as good or bad.
Choices feel loaded.
Meals become something to get right instead of something to support the body.
In early or active recovery, “eating healthy” often needs to be put on pause. Not because health does not matter, but because rigid health ideals and food rules can keep fear and restriction alive.
Sometimes healing requires creating boundaries around nutrition information or wellness messaging, so the nervous system can settle.
Once safety and consistency are established, nutrition quality can be explored in a way that feels flexible and supportive, rather than demanding and perfectionistic.
4. “You need to eat the foods you’re scared of.”
Avoiding certain foods can make them feel increasingly dangerous over time. The longer a food is restricted, the more power it holds.
Gradually and intentionally eating feared foods helps the brain learn that these foods are not a threat. Nothing catastrophic happens. The fear does not come true.
This process is not about eating everything at once or doing it perfectly. It is about small, repeated experiences that slowly reduce anxiety. Progress happens through intention, not force.
With time and support, foods that once felt overwhelming often become neutral. They no longer dominate thoughts or decisions.
5. “Food is not the problem.”
Dietitians often say that food is not the problem because food itself is rarely the original source of distress. The behaviors around eating usually develop as responses to something else, such as chronic stress, body dissatisfaction, pressure to control weight, trauma, or repeated exposure to dieting and food rules.
From a biological perspective, restriction alone can create many of the symptoms people blame on “bad eating.” Food obsession, loss of control around eating, bingeing, and heightened anxiety often emerge when the body is not receiving enough consistent nourishment.
In this case, food behaviors are not the cause of the problem. They are the body’s attempt to correct an energy deficit and protect itself.
From a psychological perspective, food can become a coping tool. It may offer comfort, predictability, numbness, or a sense of control during overwhelming situations. Over time, the behavior becomes reinforced, not because food is harmful, but because it helped meet a need at one point.
When dietitians say food is not the problem, they are not minimizing how hard eating feels. They are pointing out that focusing only on food misses the larger picture. Healing requires addressing both nourishment and the underlying factors that made food feel unsafe or necessary as a coping strategy.
Understanding this shifts recovery away from self-blame and toward skill-building, support, and compassion.
Healing often sounds backward before it feels better
Recovery often requires doing less of what has been praised and more of what actually supports stability, nourishment, and trust.
And we understand that hearing these statements from a dietitian can feel uncomfortable, confusing, or even wrong at first, especially when diet culture has taught you the opposite for years.
But these messages are not about taking something away from you. They are about creating the conditions your body and mind need to heal.
A good dietitian does not say these things to be provocative. They say them because healing from disordered eating is not about trying harder or being more disciplined. It is about stepping out of survival mode and into care.
If you are reading this and feeling seen, unsure, or quietly relieved, that matters. You do not need to have it all figured out. When and if you decide to take the next step, support exists.
Our dietitians at Maddox Nutrition work from a non-diet, weight-neutral approach that reflects the same principles discussed here: consistent nourishment, reduced food fear, and care that honors both physical and emotional health.
You are welcome to learn more about Maddox Nutrition, explore our approach, or simply see what support could look like by visiting maddoxnutrition.co.
Whenever you feel ready, we are here to help you heal your relationship with food.
-
What you need to know
The difference between a Dietitian and Nutritionist
A dietitian is a regulated healthcare professional who has completed formal education in nutrition and dietetics, undergone supervised training, and is licensed to provide medical nutrition therapy for conditions such as diabetes, eating disorders, or gastrointestinal issues.
The title “dietitian” is legally protected in many countries, ensuring that only those who meet strict professional standards can use it.
In contrast, the title “nutritionist” is not always regulated, meaning anyone can call themselves a nutritionist regardless of training, though some may hold advanced degrees or certifications. Generally, dietitians are qualified to offer clinical nutrition care, while nutritionists often focus on general wellness and healthy lifestyle guidance.