How to Help Someone with an Eating Disorder (Do’s and Don’ts)

Supporting someone who is struggling with an eating disorder can feel overwhelming. You may want to jump in and “fix” the problem, but recovery from an eating disorder is complex and deeply personal.

Often, friends and family play a vital role in offering encouragement and stability. If you are wondering how to help someone with an eating disorder, it begins with understanding the condition, knowing what helps, and recognizing what can unintentionally cause harm.

This guide explores practical do’s and don’ts, helping you support a loved one with compassion, patience, and respect.

Understanding eating disorders

According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), eating disorders are potentially life-threatening illnesses that impact not only a person’s physical health, but also their emotional, social, and even spiritual well-being. They are not a temporary trend or a passing phase, nor are they something someone can simply “snap out of.”

Knowing how to help someone with an eating disorder requires more than offering food or advice. It involves empathy, informed support, and encouraging professional care.

Eating disorders are real medical and psychological conditions that can severely disrupt health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Eating disorders are also the second leading cause of all mental health related deaths. 

Eating disorders are quite literally a life or death issue. Common types include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder.

Why does support from loved ones matter?

Each individual’s eating disorder recovery timeline is not linear, and many people go through periods of relapse and progress. During these times, the presence of supportive loved ones can make a tremendous difference. Emotional support can help ease feelings of isolation, shame, or guilt that often accompany eating disorders.

When friends or family understand how to help someone with an eating disorder, they provide a sense of safety that makes recovery less lonely. Your words, actions, and patience matter more than you may realize.

The Do’s: Positive ways to offer support

Here are practical and compassionate ways to show your support and reassure your loved one they are not facing recovery alone.

Educate yourself on eating disorders

One of the most valuable things you can do is learn about eating disorders from credible sources. Reading books, listening to podcasts, or visiting trusted organizations such as the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) can give you insight into the daily struggles they face. This helps you understand what your loved one may be going through. 

By educating yourself, you build empathy and gain tools to better understand how to help someone with an eating disorder without reinforcing harmful stereotypes or myths.

Listen without judgment

Your loved one may feel ashamed or afraid to talk openly. Creating a safe space where they can share their experiences without fear of judgment helps build trust.

Focus on listening rather than offering immediate solutions.

Use open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling today?” instead of comments about their eating behavior and weight.

Sometimes, knowing someone will listen without criticism is exactly how to help someone with an eating disorder in a supportive and caring way.

Use compassionate and supportive language

Words matter, especially when someone is in recovery. Avoid language that could sound dismissive or triggering. Instead, use encouraging words that acknowledge their strength and resilience. Saying, “I care about you,” or “I’m here if you need support,” communicates unconditional support.

Learning how to help someone with an eating disorder often means adjusting the way you speak. Shifting to compassionate language reduces shame and builds a foundation of trust.

Encourage professional help

While your support is valuable, recovery usually requires guidance from professionals such as therapists, dietitians, or physicians. You can gently suggest seeking professional treatment and offer to help them research resources, attend an appointment, or provide transportation if needed.

Respect their boundaries and autonomy

Respecting boundaries is crucial. Your loved one may not always want to talk about what they are going through, and pushing them to open up can feel overwhelming.

Allow them to share at their own pace, and avoid monitoring their food intake or body size.

The Don’ts: Behaviors to avoid

Sometimes what feels helpful can unintentionally cross boundaries. These are the pitfalls to avoid so your support does not cause harm.

Do not comment on weight, appearance, or food choices

Comments about someone’s weight, appearance, or what they eat can be deeply distressing. Even compliments like “you look healthy,” can feel loaded for someone in recovery.

Steer conversations away from body image and focus on who they are as a person. Give compliments that have nothing to do with outward appearance. The whole goal should be to help your loved one take their focus off of weight and eating.

Avoid pressure, ultimatums, or trying to “fix” them

It may feel tempting to push your loved one toward recovery by demanding they eat more or threatening consequences if they do not change. However, pressure often leads to secrecy or resistance.

Recovery must be chosen by the individual, not forced upon them.

True understanding of how to help someone with an eating disorder means avoiding control tactics and instead offering steady encouragement.

Don’t dismiss or minimize their struggle

Phrases like “Just eat more,” or “Everyone feels insecure sometimes,” minimize the severity of eating disorders. These conditions are not simply about food, eating disorders are complex and life-threatening mental health disorders that deserve validation.

Avoid sharing diet talk or body-shaming conversations

Everyday conversations about diets, calories, or “good” and “bad” foods can be harmful. These reinforce unhealthy thought patterns for someone in recovery. Similarly, negative talk about your own body or others’ bodies can create an unsafe environment.

Part of learning how to help someone with an eating disorder is creating a supportive atmosphere where body talk and diet culture are not central topics.

Practical ways to support day-to-day

Remember that recovery has different phases. There may be setbacks, but your patience and consistency can help. Do not expect quick results, and avoid frustration if progress seems slow. 

A simple text saying, “thinking of you,” or an invitation to do something fun together can remind your loved one they are not alone. Importantly, make your check-ins about connection, not food or appearance.

Your role as a support system can make a difference

Being a safe, nonjudgmental presence allows your loved one to focus on healing without added pressure.

The most important lesson in learning how to help someone with an eating disorder is this: you alone cannot cure the disorder, but you can provide steady love, understanding, and encouragement along the way.

In fact, strong social support has been shown across studies to positively influence treatment and recovery. And indeed, this research has shown that people with greater perceived support tend to have better recovery outcomes.

Your presence matters more than you may realize, and walking alongside someone in their recovery journey can bring real hope.

If your loved one is ready to take the next step toward healing, our team at Maddox Nutrition  can provide professional guidance, individualized care, and compassionate support throughout their recovery journey.

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What you need to know

The difference between a Dietitian and Nutritionist

A dietitian is a regulated healthcare professional who has completed formal education in nutrition and dietetics, undergone supervised training, and is licensed to provide medical nutrition therapy for conditions such as diabetes, eating disorders, or gastrointestinal  issues. 

The title “dietitian” is legally protected in many countries, ensuring that only those who meet strict professional standards can use it.

In contrast, the title “nutritionist” is not always regulated, meaning anyone can call themselves a nutritionist regardless of training, though some may hold advanced degrees or certifications. Generally, dietitians are qualified to offer clinical nutrition care, while nutritionists often focus on general wellness and healthy lifestyle guidance.